When I went to pick Oliver up at the childcare today, his teacher told me he was fighting over some puzzle toy with an older classmate.
Apparently the little girl scratched him out of anger, hence the wound on his cheek. They checked her fingernails and discovered it was quite long.
They were probably expecting me to go all protective over my son, because when I asked did he apologized to the classmate? the teacher didn’t hear me right and started explaining how yes, she got the classmate to say sorry to him. So I repeated, “Did Oliver say sorry to her?”, to which she said it was really the elder girl’s fault in the situation.
I can only sympathize with her, assuming how many times they have to go through the process of pacifying over-anxious parents who lay blame on teachers, classmates and everyone else except their little one.
I’m more concerned whether ointment was applied on his wound to prevent infection, and that Oliver was told fighting is wrong.
I assure the teacher and principal that I understand fights are very common amongst kids, and won’t hesitate to discipline my child if I know he’s in the wrong, regardless him being the younger or not.
Those who knows me probably also know my almost laissez-faire parenting method.
When baby falls down, we don’t rush to him immediately, but observes whether he’s in need. At first, he’d just look at us and when we’re quite sure it’s nothing serious, we’ll encourage him to stand up on his own. After a few more times, he’ll just pick himself up and brush himself off.
This led to a really interesting situation.
The other day when my 4-year old (very whiny) neighbor came over to our house to play, Oliver fell down whilst running about. She was shocked when Baby O didn’t even tear, simply getting back up and playing again.
“Auntie, why Oliver never cry?”
I looked at her with amusement.
“I guess it’s not painful, so he didn’t cry.”
It was the same this time round. The teacher told me he didn’t cry when he was scratched. Well, I can only assume he doesn’t feel much pain then.
It’s not to say Oliver doesn’t cry at all. In fact, he cries A LOT.
He cries when he doesn’t get his food, he cries when we don’t allow him to touch the phone/remote control/dustbin/(insert forbidden item here). He cried when he fell down on the hard gravel floor whilst walking back home once, but was quickly pacified with a cuddle and soothing words.
He cried when he finally saw us after being left at Grandma’s for a whooping half day the first time.
He cried when he had his first immunization jab.
He cried when his teeth was growing.
Isn’t that part of growing up?
Some tears are necessary.
Some are not.
Some battles are inevitable.
Some are not.
I only pray and hope that in time to come, he’ll learn how to pick his own battles, shed tears when he needs to, and holds them back at will.
Crying doesn’t make him any less resilient.
Resilience is usually built through the number of times one cried.
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