“So far, all this baby brought was alot of pain.”
I cried to K during one screaming baby episode. I am guilty of shouting at my baby and smacking his butt though I knew crying is just their way of expressing their needs and beating leads to nothing but more piercing cries.
When Baby O was 2 weeks old, a fellow mom I met at the clinic encouraged me it will get better by 4-6 weeks. The breastfeeding part did.
My friend testified it will get better by 3-4 months. Motherhood did.
Though he still cries murder every now and then, I’m actually starting to enjoy his company.
So, if you are a first time mom, be assured:
1) The crying will get better
Either you get used to it, or it becomes more predictable. To me, Oli’s tired and hungry cry sounds the same. I put him on a routine to take out the guessing work. This cut most of his crying to a more manageable level (for me) 🙂 .
2) Your baby will learn to sleep longer
One main reason mommies go mad is sleep deprivation.
Whilst other mommies reported their babies sleeping through the night at 2 months old, we were still struggling with night feedings cos Oli chose to start his longest stretch of sleep from 730 pm onwards. So although he could sleep 5 hours already, we still woke at 1-2 am and 4-5 am for his consequent feeds.
Then, we realised all it takes is to follow his cues. I stopped dream feeding and my husband volunteered to take the graveyard shift. One night, Baby O slept from 8 pm to 6 am, that’s a solid 10 hours! With a lil help, he persisted with this new sleep pattern.
3) You are the Mom
This sounds odd right? But I’m sure you know what I mean when I say baby is not one person’s business.
When baby is born, it seems all the people around you wants to give their 2 cents worth (maybe more than 2 cents). Moms, mother-in-laws, aunties, uncles, even strangers claim they knew better how to take care of a baby. After all, so-and-so was brought up the same way isn’t it?
However, a mother’s instincts is God given. All mothers have it. Yes, you might make a mistake every now and then. But who doesn’t?
It also doesn’t hurt to pass the caregiver’s role from time to time. Not necessarily for yourself only, but also allow baby to have a chance with other people. Love is made of relation “ships”. Not a relation “ship”. Try going into the sea with no safety boats and you might just end up with “Titanic”.
One of the best ways I find myself de-stressing is to talk about it. To God, to my husband, friends etc… even writing it down helps to take that load off a little when nobody else is around in the wee hours, esp when you are pumping milk alone again.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”
Just when I thought I’m gonna be holding on for him for quite a while, he decided to do it himself. 🙂